Closure - is it possible to create the closure that I want?

“Don't cry because it’s over.

Smile because it happened.” ~ a proverb


When we talk about “closure”, it usually relates to the closure of a relationship (whether romantic, business or otherwise). According to the Oxford Dictionary, closure means that “a feeling that an emotional or traumatic experience has been resolved.

When seeking the closure, we tend to look back into the past and try to make sense of it all (e.g. how and why these hurt feelings and negative emotions have happened). Some people reach the closure through enlisting lessons-learnt from the past in order to make sense of the changes that have taken place. The lesson-learnt can be about oneself, the life, people etc. In this process, they let-go off the negative emotions and make peace with the experience.

In truth (and in most cases), we somehow see the coming of the break-up but choose to ignore the signs.  In particular, when we are the one looking to initiate the “talk” of breaking up, we give little or no thought about how to prepare for the closure.  As a result, the breaking up process is often a long dreaded and painful one.

If you are at the juncture, contemplating on where to go next in your life (be it a new partner, a new work place or even a new country), it is important to know that walking away from the situation does not automatically give you a closure.

You get the closure only when you walk away from the situation feeling peaceful and graceful. So how to take care of the closure? 

Whether you have started the “break-up talk”, it is important to first make sure that your little unhelpful friend – Procrastination – is sent away with a marching order.  That way, you can make time and a safe space for yourself to do some reflection and visualisation.

In this little trip, allow yourself to give meanings to the particular journey that is about to end and explore questions like (in no particular order):

1)     What is the quality of each relationship that I have made in the journey?

2)     Will the relationship terminate or continue?

3)     If the relationships will continue, what changes will take place?

4)     What have I learnt about myself?

5)     What do I want for the closure to look like?

6)     How will I feel when I have the kind closure I want?

Once you have gone through these issues, you should feel empowered and ready to let the balls rolling. Manifesting the closure is just the same and as important as manifesting the dream partner or dream job.

Good luck and enjoy the ride!

Love & Light, Stephanie